My Home
by Stelena-Beautiful
Summary: A different take on how Emily and Sonny got together.


**Couple:** Emily and Sonny  
**Category:** Alternate Reality (picking up on Christmas 2005).  
**Note:** It's angsty but will get better eventually.

**My Home**

**Ch. 1: The Crappiest Christmas Ever**

Her eye still smarted – but not any more than her heart and ego did – as she fit the key into the lock and turned the doorknob in her hand. She couldn't believe that it still worked. Somehow she had thought Sonny would have changed everything in the cottage when she left.

She should have known better.

She shivered against the chill as just beyond the doorstep snow was falling in earnest. She pushed back the door and walked inside, quietly shutting it after her. She moved around in the dark, careful to navigate the big coffee table that was in the middle of the room. She knew the place so well – like the back of her hand really. She had only lived there for two months but it had felt like … home.

That's why she came back. Because it was the very last place she had felt safe, needed, cared for... loved. Tears burned her eyes but she held them back as bravely as she could. She flipped on the little lamp by the sofa and immediately dropped down onto the couch then. She found that familiar afghan that felt warm and so soft and wrapped it around her shaking body. It smelled like the jasmine-scented detergent she had always washed her things in. Sonny used to tease her about how powerful the smell was though once he had admitted it was a "very sexy, womanly smell". He had looked at her earnestly as he had said it and she remembered shivering under his heated gaze before running from the room in a fluster. He had apologized for it later, saying it had probably been too forward of him, and she had tried to assure him that it was fine. She had admitted that he got to her – she had said it so sheepishly too – but then she'd shied away when Sonny tried to hug her. She knew he was hugging her because he felt pity for her – felt like she was a troubled little sister who had gone down the wrong path one too many times. Though for a moment there she had thought that she detected something percolating in Sonny's dark eyes – something like disappointment that she'd pulled away – but then it had been gone. She had moved out two days later.

She had met Logan a week after that. She'd been at her very lowest. His Texas twang and strong, protective presence had charmed her – right into his bed. They spent twenty-four hours together and in that time, she had convinced herself that he was just like Sonny – strong, virile, yet gentle; with hurt and torment always in his eyes. He had made her feel safe so when he asked her to marry him a few days later, she had agreed. She had never done anything impulsive but felt compelled to do this even though everyone and their dog had told her that she was making a mistake – that she knew nothing about this man that she was hitching her proverbial wagon to. Nikolas had been the biggest detractor of the marriage – hurriedly reminding her that they'd only been divorced for two and a half months. How dare she move on so quickly, he had demanded of her in no uncertain terms.

Sonny was the only one who had seemed to take the news in stride. He simply told her that Logan had better treat her right or he'd be knocking down his door. Sonny had looked sad though when she'd invited him to the wedding, begging him to stand up for her when no one else would, not even her brother Jason who didn't remember her anymore since he'd had that head injury. Sonny had agreed and he'd walked her down the aisle in her soft blue gown and gave her way.

Right before she had kissed Logan as they were pronounced husband and wife, Emily had looked at Sonny and their eyes had locked in an intense gaze. There was a part of her, if she was honest with herself, that wanted him to not be so okay with this marriage but he hadn't stopped her and she had then resigned herself to being Logan's wife. She had even deluded herself into believing that he was a good man.

She sighed as tears finally began to drip unbidden down her face. She shivered under the blanket. She just couldn't get warm all of a sudden. She was broken and she was beaten down in every way a person could be. She cried and cried until she finally drifted off to sleep.

XoXoXo

Sonny couldn't sleep. Carly and he had wrapped presents for the kids and then she'd headed back to her new place. He had almost stopped her; almost invited to move back into his bed – he had known she wanted him to – but in the end, he couldn't do it. All he and Carly ever did was hurt each other and he wasn't going to go back there. They could be friends, maybe, but that was it, as far as he was concerned.

He was beyond restless tonight. He looked at the clock once again. It was well after midnight. Christmas was here and he couldn't remember ever feeling so crappy. Sure Christmas was mostly for kids but he still shouldn't have felt this miserable. He had been feeling this way for some time now though. The house, the whole property actually, felt devoid of light and life now. Emily had brought those things to the Greystone and when she'd left to marry that guy Logan, she'd taken the light and the peace of her presence with her.

He sighed as he paced the room still more. When finally he couldn't take being cooped up any longer, he headed for the back door. Max was upstairs snoozing but Sonny felt safe leaving the boys for a moment to walk across the property. To the little cottage where Emily had stayed for those two months that still haunted him. He didn't know what drew him there but he had to go. He reached the cottage and immediately noticed a little light burning in the window. For a moment he was sure that something nefarious was going down but he quickly settled down as he peeked into the window and saw a familiar figure curled up on the sofa, head resting on her folded hands. She really did look like an angel…

He pushed back the door, finding it unlocked. He slowly moved inside and watched her for a moment in the near-darkness. He didn't know what she was doing here but he sensed she needed to be here.

And he wouldn't chase her away; not for the world.

He quietly glided over to the electric fireplace and lit it. He had just put down the controller when he heard her stirring on the sofa. "Sonny?" She asked in a hushed voice, a voice that sounded almost awed. "Is that you?"

He turned around to look at her. "Yes… What brings you by, Em?"

"I – uh…" She looked away, ducking her face behind her long, thick curtain of her hair.

"Emily?" He prompted her. "What's wrong?" Something was definitely wrong. She wouldn't have braved the icy night, especially on Christmas morn, if she was in a good place.

Before he could stop himself, he was closing the distance between them and reaching for her chin. He wanted her to look at him and tell him what was wrong so he could try to fix things. He was immediately rocked by what he saw.

She tried to shy away again but he grasped her face gently between his hands. "He hit you. That bastard hit you!" The telltale bruise around her eye was stark purple and black. He knew the haunted look in Emily's eyes so well. He had seen it in his own mother's eyes so many times.

Emily had barely begun to heal from her rape earlier in the year when all of this had happened. When would she finally get a damned break?

Emily shook her head. "He – Logan – it was an accident," she said weakly.

Sonny could barely maintain his composure. He wanted to go and beat the shit out of that Hayes guy before kicking his foot through the back of his stupid skull, splintering his corroded brain right down the middle, sending gray matter spraying in every direction. Sonny was going to rip him apart the very first chance he got.

"He 'accidentally' hit you?" Sonny said in as calm a voice as he could manage. He didn't want to spook her or worse make her think that she was wrong to try to escape.

"Well, no. We just – He was drunk, Sonny. Things happen when people get drunk."

"Sure they do. Lots of things. I've been drunk plenty of times myself but I never beat on a woman when I was liquored up. I would never hit a woman – ever."

"Because you're a good man, Sonny," Emily said softly. "You'd never hurt a woman like that. But it was an accident. If Logan hadn't been drinking…"

"It's no excuse for him putting his hands on you, Emily. Say you believe that."

"There is no excuse," Emily finally cried in exasperation. Fresh tears ran down her face and he wanted to wipe them away but didn't dare. "But no matter what, it's my fault."

"Don't say that, Emily. Don't you ever believe that!"

"How can I not?" Emily asked. "I didn't really know him. I spent a few days with him before agreeing to be his wife. So it's my fault for jumping into marriage with a stranger, especially so soon after leaving Nikolas. I was just feeling vulnerable and I wanted to forget everything and –"

"You don't have to explain anything. It's not your fault," Sonny insisted, trying to keep the tremor of emotion out of his voice.

"It is my fault, Sonny. I didn't know him… Plus, I made him angry. I mentioned … another man and –" She looked away. "Never mind."

"It doesn't matter if you mentioned the man on the moon. No one ever has the right to hit a woman."

"Logan knew that I had feelings for someone else when I married him…" Emily's voice trailed off. "I shouldn't have told you that."

Sonny shook his head sadly. "Hey, you loved Nikolas for a lot of years. It's only natural that –"

Emily shook her head, holding up a shaky hand. "I can't talk about this anymore. Sonny, I appreciate everything you're saying but you know – I shouldn't have come here."

"Em, don't leave," Sonny said in an imploring voice. "You came here for a reason and I want to help you."

"I came here because I feel safe here. But I have no right to be here when my husband is at home and –"

"Drunk. He's drunk and could do even worse than punch you in the eye." Sonny growled, balling his fists at his sides. "What a bastard. I will kill him."

"No, Sonny, you can't."

"He hurt you, Emily. Someone I care about more than words can say."

Emily's eyes met Sonny's for a moment before she turned away. She tossed her slender, pajama-clad legs over the side of the sofa. "Sonny, I have to go. I really do. Just please, please let me go."

"Okay if you don't want to stay here, let me call your mother or-"

"No, you can't. She would never understand this. Hell, I don't even understand it."

"You can't go back to Logan. Not now, not ever. Guys like that don't change," Sonny said. His voice softened and he offered her a pleading look. "Don't go okay, Emily? You said yourself you feel safe here. That's what you need – to be safe and secure and not some dick's punching bag. Stay here. Please."

"It's not a great idea…"

"Come on. At least stay here until the morning. I'll station Max outside your door and –"

"He'll freeze to death sitting on the porch," Emily said and she laughed at the idea – a little hysterically.

"Then you can come to the main house. You can have my room; I'll take the couch and –"

"Sonny, I don't want to put you out like that."

"You're not. I want to help you. Let me do that."

She sighed. "Fine. Under one condition."

"What?"

"You don't go after Logan, under any circumstances. You don't kill him."

"Emily, he hurt you."

"Yeah, he did, but it will hurt me much worse if you go to prison for life or get a needle in your arm." She shook her head, clearly horrified by the thought. "Please, Sonny, don't hurt Logan. Promise me. I'll do anything you want."

"I want you to be happy and safe."

"I am sure I will be but I can't be either of those things if you're rotting away in prison for killing him."

"I can make it look like an accident. Better yet, I'll make him disappear. No one will ever find him…"

"Sonny, please. Just do this for me. Promise me you won't kill Logan and I'll stay."

Not killing Logan for hurting Emily went against everything Sonny had ever believed in but he cared about Emily – probably more than he should – and giving her what she wanted was much more important to him. Besides, he didn't actually have to kill Logan Hayes to make him suffer…

"Alright," Sonny said. "I promise I won't kill Logan though the sick fuck deserves it."

"Sonny…"

"I just want to protect you."

"You are. You make me feel safer than anyone I've ever known." She offered him a watery smile. "So should we go to the Greystone now?"

Sonny nodded. "Yeah."

Sonny and Emily walked to the Greystone in potent silence and slipped in the back door. Sonny shut the patio door and Emily looked back at him. "I can stay on the sofa…"

"No, no way," Sonny said. "My bed is yours for the night until we can make more permanent arrangements."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I want you to stay here for as long as you need to. In the Greystone, where I can keep you safe."

"I can't ask you to do that."

"You don't have to ask. I'm doing it. I care about you, Emily."

"Because I'm Jason's little sister…"

Sonny shook his head. "No, because … because you're my friend. You've never judged me or scorned me and I want to return the favor. Now come on, let's get you upstairs."

Emily sighed and looked torn for a moment. "It's alright. I can make it on my own. Thank you, Sonny. For everything."

"You're welcome," Sonny said. He watched her move to the staircase slowly.

She trudged up three steps and then stopped, looking back at him. "This may be the crappiest Christmas ever."

"I totally forgot. The tree is right there; there are gifts piled under it … But it doesn't feel like Christmas. I wouldn't have even celebrated it this year if it weren't for the kids. It's been a shitty year, huh?"

Emily nodded. "Yeah it has, but I guess we have the new year to look forward to…Night, Sonny," she said and waved to him before going the rest of the way up the staircase. When she was out of sight, Sonny sighed and looked around. His eyes fell on the clock on the mantle. It was going on two a.m. He only had a few hours to prepare … to try to give Emily a happier holiday…


End file.
